Every morning I wake up to a full inbox. (We’ll ignore the fact that my gmail inbox has over seven thousand unread messages in it and is always full.) Back when I was having an affair with Austin…versus the committed loving relationship I am in now…I subscribed to every Groupon/Living Social/Plum District deal in Austin. And in San Antonio…for good measure.

I’m not sure why because I’m not a bit thrifty. I do not have a single frugal cell in my body…as much as I think it could be fun. I’m the girl who leaves free stuff at HEB because the fact that it was free doesn’t make up for the fact that I don’t like it. I also forget to use the yellow coupons that they been strategically displayed so you can’t miss them. (I’m going to go with the fact that I am usually dragging four kids along arguing about why I don’t buy sugar cereal like grandma…for the forty eleventh time rather than I am less than savvy at saving money.)

So why do I browse the Groupon deals so lovingly sent to me every morning? Because I didn’t even know I wanted this stuff!!!

Example One:My bff is coming next week. How fun would this be? We’ve been saying for years that we are going to throw a murder mystery dinner party. I didn’t even know this was an option!!!! 120 people bought it. I must really be missing out. Am I going to buy it? Nooooooooooo!

Example 2:

I do also want this. I even have some images I’d love to see 16×20 on metal. Only 4 people bought it so far. I’m practically the only one who knows how fabulous this deal is! Will I pass it up because I’m not in the market right now? Yep. I’d rather wait and pay full price later…when I get around to it. Which will probably be never. (And now I am completely depressed over all the great deals I have passed up only to want it LATER.)

We won’t even go into all the massages, spa treatments and miracle cures for having incubated humans that are on Groupon Now. And laser hair removal. You mean I could avoid that conversation with the girl waxing my eyebrows about how I could be so pretty if I would let her wax my whole face for almost EVER?!? (I bet you didn’t know there was a Groupon for self-esteeem.)

I do have a solution to my Groupon woes. There will be no cooking classes, boots or fancy lip gloss on my birthday list this year. I only covet Groupon giftcards.

I’m only 30 for 24 more days, y’all! 24 more days of not buying all the things I didn’t even know I wanted…:D


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